Monday, September 19, 2005

Ignorance is Bliss

I stumbled onto a blog the other day where the blogger, a twenty-something straight girl, was pondering what her opinion on gay marriage was. Between what she had to say and some of the comments left on her post I was completely disgusted by some peoples' ignorance. It doesn't bother me so much that there are lots of people out there opposed to gay marriage, because it would be a huge societal change and change is always hard to accept. What bothers me is the reasons these people give for being opposed to it. First, the aforementioned blogger stated that if society allowed gay marriage then more people would choose to be gay and she didn't think that was a good idea. Then some other moron waxed on about how being gay must be a choice, because homosexuals were in the minority numbers wise so it couldn't be a biological thing. A third comment chimed in with the "learned opinion", that we called blind people, or deaf people handicapped and it wasn't normal for people to be born that way, so being gay was abnormal and--I have no damn idea where this person was going with this convoluted argument!

I could rant and rave on this forever, but let me just say this: being gay is not a choice. Everyone (straight society) has argued about whether gay people are born that way or "choose" to be gay for years. Here's an idea why not ask gay people and actually believe them when they tell you the truth? I've known I was gay since before I knew the name for it. I had crushes on girls when I was four years old, and knew even then that I was "different". I did not want to be different then, and I still don't want to be, I just am. Being gay is not some fun way to rebel against society, it is very hard. Having strangers hate you, make fun of you and tell you that you're going to be damned to hell for something you can't help or change is not a delightful good time, (Which is a big part of the reason that a ton of gay teenagers kill themselves). I know a lot of gay people and 95% of them say they've always known they were gay. No one in their right mind would choose to be something that the vast majority of society condemns and thinks of as some disgusting perversion.

The only other thing I want to touch on is the idea that being gay/lesbian is all about sex. Homosexuality is not just about sex anymore then heterosexuality is. When someone says or thinks, "I'm heterosexual", they're saying, I'm attracted to the opposite sex, but their being attracted to someone is also what leads them to be able to fall in love with a particular person and want to marry/bond into a couple. Most heterosexuals in other words don't just want sex from the opposite sex, they also want love and companionship. The same is completely true of homosexuals. Being a lesbian doesn't make me just want to have sex with females, it means I'm attracted to some women, my girlfriend for example, I get to know her, fall in love and want to share my life with her. If I were never to have sex with a woman again I would still be a lesbian, because it's not about what I do sexually it's about what I feel. I could have sex with thirty different men and I still would not be heterosexual, because I would not be attracted to them and therefore, while I might love a guy I could not fall in love with one. Oh and for the record, most lesbians do not hate men. I love men in a lot of ways. A lot of my best friends over the years have been men, I'm just not sexually attracted to them.

Gay people are pretty much like everyone else, except were attracted to the same sex rather then the opposite. We have the same feelings, wants, needs and aspirations. We feel pain, loss, love and joy in the same ways heterosexuals do. We fall in love just as hard and hope just as strongly to find that special someone to share our lives with. Please consider this the next time you think/talk about gay marriage or homosexuality in general.


Blogger THE MATERIAL BOY said...

Hi there!

I feel for you with what you have posted here. As a gay man, I too am incensed by other people's ignorance about our kind. While I do not expect them to embrace who we are and what we represent, I can only demand for respect.

It may still take a while before we get to that point when we will be fully understood and when our sexuality will no longer be an issue. But for the meantime, I can only live my life as I deem it fit and work around it.

Ignorant people be damned! ;-)

9/19/2005 3:15 PM  
Anonymous Your G/F said...

It’s me your g/f..... and while I agree with your post. I also agree with the first comment that was posted "Ignorant people be dammed." While I am sure that it was meant in some sort of jest. In the world we live in today ignorance isn't an excuse it’s a choice. There is no excuse for any adult with half a brain to be uninformed in this day and age. There are too many resources available out there to claim ignorance!

I feel that far too many times discrimination is excused by a lack of information, those that are excused are not only bigoted but they are probably to lazy or stupid to form an educated opinion.

Hate and discrimination are hate and discrimination no matter what you call it or how pretty of a package you wrap it up in!


9/19/2005 4:55 PM  
Blogger Cindy said...

I am not gay, I'm a recently divorced woman who was married for 34 years. But I totally believe that people should mind their own damned business and let others love whomever they want to love. What's it to them anyway? Who are you hurting? Back in the day there was a song that said, "Love the one you're with"...AMEN.....Love is love, and there isn't enough of it in this world.

9/21/2005 3:11 AM  
Blogger Barbara said...

Nice rant. I agree with every word.

9/22/2005 7:32 AM  

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